Skin of a Living Thought
by Cookirini
Summary: As a hero with a powerful talisman, Usagi's wishes can control anything, right up to Earth's fate. Now, however, a new man who is far more than he seems has come...and the one thing he wants from Usagi may be her undoing.
1. Longing

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A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanging, it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and time in which it is used.

Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr; Towne v. Eisner, 1918

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Nothing in life is fair.

You can never get everything you want. You should not want what you know you can't have. You cannot solve your problems by merely wishing them away. Even when you get what you wish for, you should always be careful. This is because your wish may not come out the way you want it to come out.

If only people understood that principle. Life would be so much eaiser for everyone. Of course, I guess wishing for something that great would be too much to ask for, because you know people will keep doing it anyways.

There are a lot of things that I wish for. There are things that I want to do that I know I cannot do. There are moments that I know I cannot experience. There are places and people I will never visit. Such is my life. My life and my duty never, ever changes. Others will realize their dreams. I will not.

Someone once said that all our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them, but then that must mean that I have the courage of a fried chicken leg. No. That person knows nothing of helplessness. They are not bound by duty. They are not me.

But when I think about it, I suppose that it is all right with me. I think it is probably better that I am as I am. I do not want to think of the things that could happen if there was a change to my life, a change to my being. I am comfortable with myself.

For now, I can only stay where I am, and merely think of what would be. I can only imagine...what I could be...what I...could have...


	2. Waking Thought

Waking Thought

"He what?"

"You heard me." The iced tea drained out of the cup. "He's not there. Again."

"Oh, but Usagi-chan...!"

Makoto's mouth dropped as Usagi sipped up the rest of her drink in silence. The look on Usagi's face was one of annoyance as she pushed her glass away. They sat inside a diner - not Crown Fruit Parlor, however, because it was closed on that day. It would have reminded any of the soldiers who passed it of that other cherished spot, however. It was also closer to their high school in terms of Makoto's apartment.

"Again and again. He did it _again_." The odango-haired girl huffed. "He can't go. He's too busy. He has class. He's got a meeting. He's got this. He's got that. And now I get his answering machine again. Eh!"

"I can't believe Mamoru is not going out again." Makoto's eyes were wide. "That's so weird."

"It makes me so mad!" Usagi pursed her lips in frustration. "All of a sudden, he had no time for me ever. And I moved a lot around for this. I actually managed to convince my _dad_ to let me go to the school festival with Mamo-chan!"

"...Wow." Makoto quickly sipped down her hot chocolate. "If your _father_ actually agreed to let Mamoru go out with you, I'd be tap dancing down to Juuban High to take advantage of it!"

"So would I."

Another drink came around and was set down in front of Usagi. Without even taking a breath, Usagi began sipping on what was actually her sixth iced tea. By the time her mouth let go of the straw, the glass was half empty.

"Usagi-chan! Slow down!" Makoto put her cup down. "You'll have to go to the bathroom!"

"I don't care." Usagi's chin went onto the table. "I'll just pee my pants."

"_Usagi-chan!_"

"Why does it matter? Mamo-chan isn't going to see me anyways!" Usagi's head bobbed up and down as she banged her chin down onto the table surface. "I could be on the side of the road, dying of thirst, asking for just one drop of water, and he'd probably look at me and go 'Sorry, Usa, I have more _important_ things to do!'"

"He wouldn't do that."

"No, but it _feels_ like it." Usagi rubbed her left cheek into the table. "Murrrb..."

"Usagi-chan, that's disgusting." Makoto looked at this scene with a curled lip. "You don't know who's done what on this table!"

"I don't care." Usagi's rubbing continued. "This table is touching my cheeks more than Mamo-chan does. The hard plastic is more inviting than his arms."

"Now you're talking nonsense." Makoto stood up. "Look, I'll pay, since you paid last time..."

"Oh, my plastic..."

"Usagi-chan, stop that!"

"...Ok." Usagi came off of the table. "I'll stop. I'm sorry."

"It's ok..." Makoto rubbed her head. "But I think you're taking this a little bit personally, don't you?"

"I don't care." Usagi cradled her head into her hands as she responded. "I'm not feeling good to top it off, so I think I have a right to be grumpy."

"Not feeling good?"

"My head hurts."

"Take some medicine, then!"

"I did. I guess it hasn't kicked in yet."

"Well, it could be a stress headache," Makoto replied. "You're being upset about Mamoru-san could be accelerating the problem. You should calm down..."

"Hmmph." Usagi sighed. "Maybe you're right. Rest and relaxation should be on the forefront of my mind. A good book or a good nap."

"That's the spirit!"

"And...I gotta go home anyways." Usagi gave a slight smile at this. "So I guess I should go."

"Heh." Makoto smiled. "Eh, yeah, me too."

"Ok. Then, see you later, Mako-chan!"

"Bye..."

Usagi waited until Makoto had left the table, paid, and exited the restaurant to get up from the booth. With a sigh, she smoothed out her school uniform and took up her bag as she walked out.

Mamo-chan.

She slowly walked down the street when she left the restaurant, her mind filled with thoughts about the man she loved. Lately, he was so busy, so hurried and rushed, all about work. He was finishing up his classes for the semester, and Usagi knew that the hours spent in labs and in exam study groups took their toll on him and how he spent his time. This was because the exam he was taking was not anything of the ordinary; this test would determine which American school he would continue his career path with, and it was in a week. Remembering the date brought Usagi's mind back to when she and Mamoru were planning on attending a festival, one commemorating the beginning of Jubaan High's spring semester.

Though she decried him publicly for not fulfilling his duty as a lover and spending time with her, she did, in a way, feel bad for him. He had lost weight because he wasn't eating as much (and he still wouldn't let her cook for him!). He was taking pills to keep him up at night; as a result, he was cranky and irritated when she called. He even complained of pain in his side and that his eyes hurt whenever he studied for more than sixteen hours on end. Regardless of this, however, he still kept going. And now, for several days, he had not been home.

So Usagi was frightened about what could happen to him. She knew what scholastic tests could do to a woman; it was frightening to think of the effects it could have on a man.

Mamo-chan.…

Usagi stopped and rubbed her head. Her headache was getting stronger. It was really starting to worry her, especially since she seemed to be having the headache on and off for the past several weeks - practically ever since Mamoru had begun his new academic regiments. It seared from the right temple, and each heartbeat made the pounding reverberate stronger throughout her skull.

Ooooh...oh...

The massaging didn't help; in fact, her head pounded harder than ever. Her eyes started to tear up as she staggered towards the wall, her head in her hands. Around her, the wind began to pick up, mirroring her pain and blowing her hair into her face

"Owwww..." Usagi's stomach began to roll from the pain. "Oooooh...owwwwwwww..."

Then, out of nowhere, pain struck her chest. It coincided with one particularly bad wave of head pain, and she staggered sideways. Gasping for air, she was unprepared for the next wave of pain that hit her.

Mamo-chan!

That was the last thought she had as she fell to the ground. Her schoolbag dropped, and her books flew out of it onto the sidewalk. Papers scattered everywhere, flying up in the ever-strengthening wind and tumbling down the street like pinwheels falling from trees. Everything that Usagi dropped moved.

Except for Usagi. Not even the gale could move her from where she had fallen.

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\Mamochan!\

/Usa./

They stood in front of a lake, a great blue lake, with pristine mountains all around them. The wind blew her hair gently into her face. It was a glorious day, a glorious night, or something of that sort, but where they were, time had no meaning...

\Oh, Mamochan!\ She clung tightly to him, her pink dress of taffeta pressing against his chest so he could feel her stainless steel corset underneath, could feel her breasts HEAVE in desperation. \Don't leave me! Prim rose! I mean, promise!\

/Usa./

\Please, pleasepleaseplease don't leave!\ Her eyes seemed to EXPLODE like blue volcanos. \You've been gone for so long. I don't know if I can take it! Please come back to me! don't leave meeee!\

/What are you you you-/

\don't leeeeeave!\

Mamoru looked back at her. He looked so perfect to her, just like in her dreams. He always looked that way to her, but she never knew if he could see that perfection in her. It was always seemingly so one-sided, really, how she gave to him, but not much in return. He didn't even have the same description as she did in the dreams, for that was how plain his dreams of her must have been.

Or maybe it was just the stress.

/HOOOGH/ He suddenly grabbed his side. /Usa./

\Mamochan?\

/Auuuuuuuugh./

\MAMOCHAN!\

Then, the earth began to shake underneath the scene. Alarmed, great blue lake suddenly left, taking up its suitcase and running as fast as it could!

"I'm gettin' out of here' lady!" White lights began to penetrate the night sky. It was night because it was a dream, and the lake leaped over the mountains to freedom. "It was nice knowing you."

\No! Noooo! Come back!\

"Abandon ship!" Suddenly, the mountains followed suit. "Abandon ship! Meltdown is imminent!"

\Waiiit! Mamochan! What's going on?\

"Reactor H and B have been sabotaged!" The mountains left in hazmat suits. "Clear the facility! She's gonna BLOW!"

The earth slipt open in front of them. It splut open in front of them. The earth split in front of Usa and Mamochan.

/USAAAAA/ Mamoru fell from Usagi's hands, falling, his hands still at his side. /It huuuuurts.../

\MAMOCHAAAAAAAAAN!\

No one heard her screams. All there could be heard was the cracking open of the earth, the shattering of rock, the laughter of the horned one. The horned one could see everything that was happening.

va. ca. ba. ka. i.s. co. mi. ng.

Then, white. One final scream, as Usagi was thrown off, as a light appeared from Usagi, and the giant came out and started ripping her to shreds. Nothing. But. Severing. And. Total. Pain.

Now, there was only usagi left. Usagi.

Usagi.

Usagi.

Usagi.

"Usagi."

He pressed his thumb and forefinger against her wrist. There was still a very strong pulse coming from her limp body, and his touch caused it to throb harder. Quietly, methodically, he took his other hand and propped Usagi's head up off of the ground.

"Usagi." There was still no response. "Hmm. Hmm. Usagi."

He pondered this, his voice somewhat monotonous in tone, even as he posed his questions to himself. He had never been one to show emotion. Even so, the warmth of Usagi's body gave him some kind of comfort, as nothing else would or could in all that he could remember. It was the first time he had ever felt it, and despite the situation being disagreeable towards her, he thought that he could feel some satisfaction to finally _feel_ her.

He didn't have long to wait for a response. As he brought her head up towards his chest, she woke up with a start and gave a gasp.

"Mamo-chan!" She jerked her head up. "I...huh?"

"Mamo-chan."

"What?" Usagi looked up reproachfully. "What happened? Who..."

"What happened."

She looked up at the source of the voice, and saw a face that seemed totally implausible - and yet it was. His dark blue eyes looked back at her as she stared, her own eyes widened in surprise.

"_Mamo-chan_!"

"Mamo-chan."

"What the..." Usagi gasped. "How did you..."

"You fell." Mamoru's voice responded to her. "I came to help you."

"Oh, I...thank you..."

With that, the man helped her up, and she got a far better look at him. It was Mamoru; his eyes, his face, his hair, his build, everything seemed to be a trademark of his lover's. Somehow, she fell, and he caught her by surprise; after saying he couldn't come, he was there.

Yet something didn't seem right about him. Perhaps it was the shadows hitting his face that made him look like Mamoru. Perhaps it was that his deep voice reminded her of Mamoru.

Or perhaps it was because she had hit her head on the way down to the ground. All of a sudden, she felt as if her head was emptying from the bottom, and she get a startled cry.

"Are you...Mamo-chan..."

"You're bleeding." Mamoru's voice came again. The more Usagi listened to it, the more she saw that his voice seemed static, his tone without emotion. "Let's get you home."

"Uh..." Usagi's eyes began to roll towards the back of her head. "I live in Juuban..."

"I'll take you."

With that, the man picked Usagi's legs up, and began to carry her down the street. Usagi's head felt light, and in her pain she wanted to just go to sleep, and it became hard for her to concentrate on her thoughts..

"My...books..."

"I have them. Relax."

At this, Usagi took his advice. It helped that she felt safe enough with him, that he looked like Mamoru. Though she knew that she would wonder why this was so when she woke up, at that moment it didn't matter as she drifted again into unconsciousness.

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The sun was slowly lowering into the distance as the boy carried the limp young girl in his arms. Turning a corner, he looked left, then right, then back again. No one was in sight.

"Very well."

Suddenly, his feet left the ground. Higher and higher he ascended, until he was several feet off the ground. Now in view of the last few rays that emanated from the sun, it could have been seen that his skin was completely pale, in stark contrast to the darker-skinned man who Usagi had mistook him for. One could almost say that his skin was the truest hue of alabaster, and his shadows a pale hue of argent, as if he were a ghost.

Without another word, then, floating over the ground, the man made his move. Arching forward, his body glided down the street, passing through the neighborhood at a speed that was considerably faster than it would have been if he had been running. All the while as he flew, he looked back and forth, ensuring that no one was watching him as he brought his charge home.

Master...

As keen as his eyes were, and as sharp as his senses could be, he could not know that he was indeed being watched. But the woman with forest green hair that was watching him was far enough away to avoid his attention. She patiently looked through a set of binoculars as she sat at a desk, conveniently situated in a district high rise several blocks away, observing the scene. Though she could not, from her angle, discern that he was floating, he was still of interest to her nonetheless.

BEEP

The reaction was a quick one to the alarm clock. Without a word, the woman put down her binoculars, turned to her desk and turned the clock off.

"This is Fury One reporting." She pressed a button on a black teleconference phone which appeared out of the center of the desk. "Dispatch message."

"Fury One, this is Base Fornax." Suddenly, her phone came to life. _"Update on the situation, over."_

Suddenly, her phone came to life. 

"I've got her." There was a hint of excitement in the woman's voice. "Identification of target is confirmed. She's currently traveling with one male in the direction of her house, over. Coordinates being sent."

With that, she quickly typed in numbers into the phone. After a moment, the phone beeped again.

"Fury One, information has been received. Confirm ID of companion, over."

"Negative." The woman shook her head. "He looks new. She collapsed and he picked her up, over."

"Fury One, this Base Fornax. We are confirming that we actually picked up a power signal coming from the coordinates you sent us..." There was brief static. _"It coincides with what is known about the target, over."_

" There was brief static. 

"What are my instructions?"

"Continue observation, Fury One, over."

"Yes, sir." The woman stood up. "Fury One, over and out."

With that, she pressed another button on the phone, and the phone slid down into the desk. She looked over towards the window, in the direction that she knew her subjects were going. She gave a smile, showing elongated teeth.

"One down..."


End file.
